- customer: can I ask you something I have no business asking you
- me: and your total is $56.83, if I could get a signature right here
- customer: why do you wear that ring in your nose, you're an attractive boy
- me: and here's your receipt
50 Shades of Grey was originally fanfiction based on the Twilight series, which was then published as a novel (along with 2 subsequent books). It sold over 100 million copies around the world and topped best-seller lists everywhere. It’s about to be adapted into a film, set to come out early next year.
It follows a college student named Ana Steele, who enters a relationship with a man named Christian Grey and is then introduced to a bastardised and abusive parody of BDSM culture.
While the book is paraded as erotica, the relationship between Ana and Christian is far from healthy. The core mantra of the BDSM community is “safe, sane and consensual”, and 50 Shades is anything but. None of the rules of BDSM practices (which are put in place to protect those involved) are actually upheld. Christian is controlling, manipulative, abusive, takes complete advantage of Ana, ignores safe-words, ignores consent, keeps her uneducated about the sexual practices they’re taking part in, and a multitude of other terrible things. Their relationship is completely sickening and unhealthy.
Basically, “the book is a glaring glamorisation of violence against women,” as Amy Bonomi so perfectly put it.
It’s terrible enough that a book like this has been absorbed by people worldwide. Now, we have a film that is expected to be a huge box-office success, and will likely convince countless more young women that it’s okay not to have any autonomy in a relationship, that a man is allowed to control them entirely. It will also show many young men that women are theirs to play with and dominate, thus contributing to antiquated patriarchal values and rape culture.
YES. THIS. I’m all for sexual education on BDSM if you’re interested in that, but you have to know if you’re getting into it for the right reasons and not because you’re playing out something horrible that happened to you in your childhood. You need to understand that these power shifts are not necessarily indicative of the entire relationship, let alone how a dominant views the entire populations. I’ve only read the first book, so I can’t speak for the entire series, but from what I know this virgin entered unknowingly into an only semi-consensual and extremely emotionally manipulative relationship with someone who had a LOT of experience as well as a LOT of psychological barriers from his past that he hadn’t worked through or even fully recognized. That is no way to begin exploring the (wonderful) world of sex. Abusive relationships tend to elicit much stronger emotions than their healthier counterparts, which victims and abusers alike tend to confuse for love or passion. This leads both parties less able to function in normal, healthy relationships because they don’t have this constant adrenal feeling of fear or anger. My rant has kinda gone off track, but this book (like Lolita) horribly romanticizes an extremely unhealthy, degrading, and psychologically imbalanced relationship.
Plus she writes like a 10th grader.
asked by Anonymous